


We've Found Home in the Syncopation of Our Breaths

by lovesick (minshuas)



Category: UP10TION
Genre: Fluff, High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minshuas/pseuds/lovesick
Summary: How do you describe the change from best friends to lovers?If asked, Minsoo would say there's barely a shift in the relationship. Together forever's all it is.





	We've Found Home in the Syncopation of Our Breaths

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i'm moving all my up10tion fics here! 
> 
> while you are here, make sure you check out some cool u10t fic fests on twitter @up10tfics @u10tficfest  
> please join them!!! or share them around!!!! tysm!

Autumn comes.

Minsoo notices when all the leaves begin to lose their vibrancy and the wind gains a bite to it. It’s his favorite time of the year, this changing time, because he feels expectation hanging in the atmosphere. Spring usually comes with love letters, confessions, new romances. It is another changing time in the year, but Minsoo doesn’t catch its fever the way he does with autumn. He wants to change with the leaves, to be blown away by the wind. Maybe it is his favorite because of Sooil. Autumn is Sooil’s favorite season alongside winter. They had been introduced to each other in autumn. Both had written their first love letter in autumn with their breath rather than their hands.

 

_“We’ll stay together after this year.” Sooil’s voice sounds so sure, so convincing. Minsoo knows that they have different plans and that those plans aren’t coinciding, but they are best friends. Best friends stay together until the very end, don’t they? More than anything, Minsoo wants to believe that they do._

_Usually, Sooil is full of good humor, but there’s no hint of laughter in his voice today. A breeze knocks into them, reminding them that the temperature is only falling as the day goes on. Minsoo licks his lips, noticing how chapped they are due to the harsh autumn wind. He should have brought a mask, but Sooil borrowed the one he usually carried around when the seasons started to change. Sooil borrows a lot of Minsoo things without remembering to give them back, but Minsoo has his fair share of Sooil’s things too. “Will we?” His throat feels as dry as his lips._

_A cocked eyebrow meets his response. “Feeling pessimistic?” He looks away and it is in that motion that Minsoo sees that he’s answered incorrectly. Sooil is hurt, but it is not irreversible yet. “I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t lose contact, Minsoo. We would make it work some way.”_

_“We_ can _make it work.” Minsoo responds quickly this time. If this was a dance, then Minsoo would be reacting to Sooil’s movements. Neither of them would be tripping over one another, but Minsoo might be wavering. “You said stay together though… You know we can’t promise that we’ll end up at the same university… or even if we’ll end up in the same city. Don’t you want still want to be a musician?”_

_“Yes,” he looks off into the distance as though he’s waiting for something to interrupt them. The streets are as quiet as the sidewalk and they are as quiet as the nature surrounding them. Their walk home has never taken so long. “It isn’t like athletes and musicians are worlds apart, Minsoo.” His expression is so heartbreakingly soft when he looks back at him that Minsoo feels his heart beat pick up._

_His response comes out rushed due to the sudden physiological change. “We wouldn’t… ever be worlds apart. I… don’t mean that we won’t be friends or that we can’t go to a university together… Sometimes I just think about how we might not end up at the same place. It happens to so many people that I don’t want it to happen to us, but if we don’t think about the possibility, then we won’t be ready for the reality…”_

_“I’ll never be ready for the reality.” Sooil’s soft expression hardens into confidence. He’s never looked surer of his own words in the years that Minsoo has known him. That scares Minsoo, that Sooil is so sure of him when Minsoo himself can’t be all the time. “We stay together through it all, or what did it all matter?”_

_Minsoo shakes his head, biting back a laugh. “Sooil-ah,” he breathes it out like a sigh, “All of this will always matter.”_

“A lesson on being a traffic cone,” Sooil gestures to Minsoo’s frozen, unblinking form standing just off the sidewalk. His joke earns a round of laughter from Changhyun and Dongyeol who honestly might laugh at just about anything. Sooil’s hand ends up on Minsoo’s shoulder which shakes him from the past. He’s pulled back onto the safety of the sidewalk by Sooil’s hand. “You good, Minsoo?”

“Great,” he hears someone say, but he doesn’t register that it is him answering because Sooil’s touch doesn’t disappear. Sooil doesn’t just retract back into himself like usual. Minsoo wants to lean back into his frame and have him hold him close, but he knows that their friendship doesn’t work like that. They need excuses to be so intimate: a failed test, a broken heart, a losing match.

He tips his head back and his forehead touches against Sooil’s cheek. “Wanna have dinner at my place?” His tone is incredibly soft. Changhyun and Dongyeol are having their own conversation beside them, seemingly having grown bored after Sooil’s joke had been received. “I can have my sister pick something up or we can go to the convenience store.” He doesn’t know why he sounds so desperate. Maybe it is because the memory reminded him that the end of the year is growing close now. Soon, they will have to solidify their decisions and go through with them, together or not.

“Or I can cook for you, honey.” Sooil laughs, warm and bright. It makes Minsoo’s head spin and his chest feel tight. “Yeah, I’d love to come over for dinner. We can figure out what to have a little later. I’m not really in a hurry unless you are.”

The light finally turns, signaling them to walk. All of them bid each other goodbye, separating into respective pairs. “I’m not in a hurry either,” Minsoo shrugs. “Honey, though?” Playfully, he knocks his hip against Sooil’s. He staggers outside the crosswalk, then wavers back into it. “How cheesy…”

“I thought that’s the way you like it?” Sooil raises an eyebrow, bumping his hip against his in payback. It barely jostles Minsoo even though Sooil has more muscle than him. Years of sports has taught Minsoo how to stand his ground.

Minsoo shakes his head. “How would you even know?”

“How  _wouldn’t_  I?” He laughs, reaching out absentmindedly. Their fingers brush. It takes every ounce of Minsoo’s self-control to stop himself from pulling away. “You watch all of those sappy shows and bat your eyes at the screen. It’s endearing and sort of cute.” Sooil’s fingers intertwine slowly with Minsoo’s, so slowly that Minsoo feels his nerves being lit on fire. “You know, cute in that ‘I’m Go Minsoo’ way.”

Rolling his eyes, Minsoo tries to ignore the way their hands fit so perfectly together. “That way only exists for me, Sooil. No one else will understand it.” He swallows around a lump in his throat. It is autumn, but he feels like he’s wearing too many layers yet, at the same time, he’s completely exposed. “You should learn to explain things better.”

“No one else needs to understand it.” Minsoo also tries to ignore how soft Sooil’s voice gets when he rubs his thumb against the back of Minsoo’s hand. This is normal for them, but so much has changed within Minsoo in the years that they’ve known each other that normal for them is too much for him. He wants more of this, but knows that he can’t ask for it. They are best friends, nothing more than that. Together forever in the most platonic way. Minsoo gulps like he’s stranded on a desert without any water. Sooil looks unfazed by it all.

Then he stops in the middle of the pathway. They always cross through the park to get home faster and today is no different. The trees surround them, branches swaying and leaves falling. In another place, in another time, it could be petals falling atop them. Minsoo thinks that pink suits Sooil best, but he knows that’s just another ridiculous thought that no one cares if he has. It’s just another reason to think about Sooil, to have him constantly on his mind. Minsoo stops too, only because their fingers are still twined together like some inseparable thread.

“Sooil-ah?” Minsoo turns towards him, inclining his head.

The boy in question chews on his lip uncomfortably like he’s throwing something around in his head. Minsoo knows better than to interrupt him, but he wants nothing more than to know what he’s thinking about. “What would you do… if I asked something impossible from you?” The question seems loaded, but Minsoo plays along. If Sooil wants to go off the normal path to reach his destination, then Minsoo has no choice but to follow along.

“I’d listen,” he promises swiftly. “I don’t know what you are thinking, but if it has to do with you, then of course it is impossible.” Minsoo smiles, trying to cut through the seriousness of the moment with light humor. Still, there’s something hanging in the air that stops Minsoo from knocking shoulders with Sooil. It feels like if he interrupts him or pushes him too much, then he’ll just shrug this off.

The smallest hints of a smile appear and he looks away. “Impossible? Me?” He shakes his head. “I think you are getting us confused.” He squeezes Minsoo’s hand when he laughs. This time it is light and the corner of his eyes crinkle. Minsoo feels a part deep inside him break in two. “Still, I want… I have something I need to ask before it feels like it is too late.” There’s something so sincere about Sooil. It gives Minsoo a chill, making him feel like it is winter rather than autumn. It chills him right down to his core until he’s worried that he’ll become a tundra. “Is it okay if I ask you something that might push you away?”

He’s unsure which automatically makes Minsoo unsure, but he’s sat through too many confessions to not think of where this could be going. There had even been one time when he had stood on the school rooftop and had a member of the hockey team come to meet him. It had been risky and forward of him, but Minsoo had looked him steadily in the eye.  _“This might change our friendship in the worst way,” Wooseok had said with a steeled expression._ It hadn’t changed anything because Minsoo had understood Wooseok’s confession, but he didn’t have the same courage that Wooseok had. In the face of love, Go Minsoo was simply a coward. He’d rather run away from his feelings than talk to Sooil about them.

 _No_. He wants to say, but he knows better than to stop this from happening. He’s too selfish to stop this from happening. “Tell me.” Minsoo steels himself, tries to ignore the odd fluttering feeling in his stomach or the tingling in his fingertips. “I’ll listen to anything you have to say.”  _I’ll do anything for you_ , he doesn’t admit.

With a sharp tug, Sooil pulls them both behind a nearby tree. “We’re together forever?” He asks and to Minsoo it feels like a childish question. There’s a sparkle in his eye that draws Minsoo in. He presses himself up against the bark of the tree, trying to ignore how his hands are beginning to itch from anxiety, trying to ground himself.

“We’re together forever,” he echoes. “Sooil-ah?”

“I’m going to kiss you.” He looks to be in a panic. “Can I? Will you punch me?”

“No,” Minsoo feels breathless. “I won’t punch you.”

Sooil laughs, but it sounds forced. “Okay.”

He’s moving too slow, everything’s moving too slow for Minsoo. It takes one second of hesitance for the whole situation to be flipped. Minsoo knows better than to rush this. Sooil could have thought about this for one night or one hour, but he could have been thinking about this for as long as Minsoo has been, or even longer than Minsoo has been. It doesn’t matter how long he’s thought about doing this, because Minsoo has the courage to do it where Sooil is moving in slow motion, too nervous to break their relationship.

Minsoo releases his hand and switches their positions in one swift movement. All his motions are calculated, a skill he’s picked up from years of experience in a variety of sports. Sooil’s size doesn’t matter because he’s toppled boys bigger than him. It takes merely seconds, then Sooil is staring evenly at him with an expression that Minsoo doesn’t understand fully, but may be reflecting. “Don’t punch me.” Minsoo dares to say, leaning in.

When their lips meet, it is painfully overdue. He knows these lips so well, but he’s never been able to experience them like this. They part for him so Sooil can breathe him in as well. It feels like there’s a wave crashing over Minsoo. His knees go so weak that he has to cling to Sooil so he doesn’t collapse to the floor in an embarrassing show of emotion. His hands don’t know what to do, but they ache to hold Sooil. Sooil’s hands are braver than their owner, so he wraps them around Minsoo’s tiny waist. That touch anchors him to this moment.

Sooil’s lips go off course and press against Minsoo’s cheeks that rise every time his lips curl up even the smallest bit. He presses fleeting kisses to his nose and forehead and chin until Minsoo is reduced to giggling. Both collapse to the grass. Minsoo notices that it has dew clinging to it in a desperate attempt to keep from chilling over.

“Pancakes!” Sooil exclaims. “I want to make pancakes with you tonight!”

Minsoo can’t believe what he’s hearing. He wonders if this is Sooil’s way of trying to put this behind them. It’d make sense for them to not talk about it if that’s what Sooil wants, but there’s a part of Minsoo that doesn’t want to ignore this. He doesn’t necessarily know the importance of it, but he knows what could happen if they don’t end up talking about it. This isn’t something that he wants to be a part of only their past.

But then Sooil leans over and kisses him on the mouth, leaving him in a stupor. “Pancakes?” He asks, tilting his head.

“Yes,” Minsoo breathes out, finally getting it. This isn’t something they need to talk about because barely anything has changed. “Pancakes.”


End file.
